Not My First Choice

The storylines in the TV show This is Us can be raw and almost too real at times. That’s exactly what I love about it. Watching the actor who plays Randall process all that was taking place in the adoption group he found himself in was definitely real. He stared into the woman’s eyes as she described finally coming to terms with what she knew to be true, “I wish I had never been adopted. I wish I could have stayed with my bi-polar birth mom.”

I can imagine hearing that phrase in my own home. It hasn’t been said, but it could be. I could one day hear, “I wish I had never been adopted.” And, truth is, that’s okay.

I wish my girls did not suffer the separation they experienced and continue to feel. I wish they were biologically mine.

Truth is, the original design was for a husband and a wife to come together and from them a child would be born. And, that child would forever remain in that connection which began right at conception. That is the plan. Perfection.

There was another perfect plan way back in history. Adam and Eve lived in paradise. God gave them everything they needed to live a glorious life. Then from their choices, sin led to a different life. A different plan. Now there was pain. Hard choices. Loss. Tears. Separation.

Thankfully, that is not the end of the story. It’s a redemption story. A story including a beautiful plan. A beautiful Savior.

Those of us who know the beginning of the story, before sin took root, long for the beauty of the Garden. A garden full of freedom and peace. We wish that was our reality. But for now, it is not. We live in this broken world, longing for the perfection only found in the Garden, and one day with our Savior in Heaven.

We long and we struggle. And we struggle and we long. Here in this broken world. But, we have this promise we cling to. And, we have this Jesus that gives us beautiful gifts while we wait on the promise.

So, beautiful girls of mine, you may wish you were not adopted. You may wish your reality is something other than it is. You may wish that your story is more straight-forward, simple. I am with you on this. Ideally, your story would be easier. Free from loss and separation.

Beautiful girls, you can tell me this. You don’t need to wait for an adoption support group in your 40’s one day to share this. You suffered a loss and it’s not what you would have chosen. It’s not what I would have chosen for you.

But, please, beautiful girls, remember the redemption. Remember your Savior, who made a plan for you thousands of years ago. Remember that from broken messes, comes rescue.

Remember that just as Jesus redeems the brokenness in the Garden, He redeems you.